


An Intern's Worst Nightmare

by lesboinspace



Category: South Park
Genre: Craig's a snarky bitch, M/M, Tweek's interning under his psychologist, YA AU, they're both snarky lovable bitches asdfghjkl
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2019-05-29
Updated: 2019-05-29
Packaged: 2020-03-26 15:14:19
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 614
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/19008382
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/lesboinspace/pseuds/lesboinspace
Summary: "Psychiatrists tend to be more crazy than their patients, therapists are whores, psychiatry is a narcissism machine. I learned more from Dr. Seuss than Dr. Freud. Earth, you don’t have to be crazy to live here but it helps." -Ryan from The OfficeTweek is an intern training to be a psychologist, and his first patient is rude, sarcastic, and cold.Well, maybe Craig has his reasons...Why does the universe enjoy watching him squirm?





	An Intern's Worst Nightmare

**Author's Note:**

> I always loved the idea of Tweek wanting to pursue some sort of psychology in order to help others who struggle with similar problems, and I randomly wrote this out...  
> Honestly, I don't really know where I'm going with this, but depending on the feedback, I may do more! With that said, please let me know what you think, reviews are fuel for writers. :)  
> Feel free to throw a prompt my way here or on Tumblr~  
> *a repost from gubby3, my old account~ I switched so my Ao3 name would match my Tumblr!!

The clock’s hands twitch forward at an agonizingly slow pace. The heavy silence of the room clashes with Tweek’s thundering heart wreaking havoc in his chest, and his hands itch above the paper, desperate for any observations to jot down about the man sitting across from him. As the intern waits for his patient to give him something to go on, his knee begins to bounce against the carpet. Unable to fiddle with his hands, Tweek’s next nervous tick causes the clipboard in his lap to rattle. The sound resembles clacking teeth, and suddenly, memories of unpleasant dentist visits are at the forefront of the blonde’s mind; screaming drills and prying tools play on repeat. Sweat breaks out along Tweek’s forehead, the bobbing of his leg intensifying. Each jump lifts the clipboard slightly into the air, and the consequential noise becomes unbearable for both men.

“Aren’t you supposed to ask me shit? I thought this was the therapy session, not a second waiting room.”

Tweek can feel the harsh green eyes lock onto him, tearing him apart and analyzing him piece by piece. The monotone voice cracks his cocoon of indecision, and the intern rips his gaze from the blank page in his quivering hands. Their eyes meet, and in an instant, forests merge into the sea. Craig’s stare is cold, but devoid of any real anger or frustration. Tweek blows out a breath to reset himself, and scans the laid back brunette with careful scrutiny.

‘He’s not expecting much from this, for whatever reason.’

“I-I apologize, Mr. Tucker. You’re, uh, my first patient as an intern, and I froze up,” a soft laugh escapes from his still trembling lips, squashing down the desire to press his hands together by rubbing his neck, “Let’s just dive right in then. Why are you here today, and what expectations do you have of me in assisting you?”

Something in Craig changes. His hunched spine straightens into the back of the couch, and his arms cross against his chest. Tweek assumes that the other is preparing himself by going on the defensive. He clicks his pen to be ready for the upcoming responses.

“No wonder interns are free, you look like you need more help than I do,” Tweek accepts the words’ brief sting but doesn’t allow them to internalize, reminding himself that it’s his fault for spending the first five minutes in silence, “First off, just call me Craig. Mr. Tucker is my dad, and he’s a douche. Second, I don’t want to be here, but there are some people who think that I need to be. What I want from you is to spend as little time here as possible, so I’m not going to hold much back. Then you can tell me all that’s wrong with me and I’ll promise to work on it and never come back. That sound fine to you, Dr. Twitch?”

“My last name is Tweak...”

“Really? Because you looked like you had your vibrator going ‘til now.”

“I’m not a doctor yet either, you just reminded me of that fact.”

“Is that seriously all you have to say?”

“Maybe, if you’re quite finished. We can start, as you claim you so desperately want to, once you’re ready.”

“I am ready.”

“Then come at me, Mr. Tucker. I’m all ears, and on the edge of my seat as to why you seem to be the only person in your life who thinks you don’t belong here when you clearly do.”

“You...Fine, I’m all set to have my head probed.”

“Good, I’m curious to know what makes you tick.”

And so the battle of wits, stubbornness, and spitting sarcasm begins...


End file.
